is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
