Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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