Say something about gay babies.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
