she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
