Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have post one night stand depression
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