I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
