bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
