Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
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I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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