I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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