worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
