The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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