you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
