Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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