When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
