well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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