on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
