therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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