and you said cock pushups were impossible
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
