Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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