hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
