that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
