Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
