she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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