That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
