I'm passing your future prison.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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