Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
soo... how was my night?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
