He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
