I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize