Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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