Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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