you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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