i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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