All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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