i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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