Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
