i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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