Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
