He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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