I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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