I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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