So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
