I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize