Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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