Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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