So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
