ugly people sure do ruin things
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Houston, we have a blender
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
