Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize