It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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