I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
