and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
