In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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