Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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