He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
