I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
