Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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