I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it hurts more in the daytime
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
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You made out with two different species that night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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