the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart