please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
A+ Viking dick
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.