I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
